Valentine’s Day is long over this year, and still there are some people out there without a ring on their finger that desperately want a committed relationship. With regards to my feng shui consulting business, I see many clients that have not found a committed relationship and have trouble attracting men or getting dates. But the commitment thing is a whole other story. It seems to always be beyond their grasp. This is what I’ve observed, and what feng shui changes might help change the “non-committed pattern.”
I have observed that these women have what I refer to in my book as the “Old Mother Hubbard’s Cupboard” syndrome. There is very little food in the house and very little cooking going on in the house even if the kitchen is within the main yang bagua of the house (the kitchen is not sticking out “in front of the front door.”) Their dining room table is usually metal with a glass top and usually has no table cloth on it (“Whats the point, no one eats here!”) The kitchen and dining room feel like/are “dead” as opposed to “living” spaces.
Other observations include: 1. Besides the dining room table, many other pieces of furniture are metal and water in their element – lots of glass, white and metal. 2. There is a lot of metal dominating the other elements (wood, fire, earth and water) in just about every room. Metal element people are usually precise people, and what they have chosen to make precise is usually their bodies in this example. They are fit, trim, and focused on looks and outward appearances (and thus the not-lacking-for-a-date situation.) And often, another observation is they aren’t committed to a particular style or even a color in the house which may be showing up as lack of commitment in life. They’ve got ch’i heading their way, but perhaps it is not the right ch’i if they are looking for a long-lasting relationship.
So, here are my feng shui tips based upon this consistent observation: Create a kitchen and dining area that supports and nurtures the body. Get food in the cupboards. Get more than salt and pepper in your spice collection. Learn how to cook and bake. (Mom didn’t teach you? Guess what? There are lessons out there to take! Consider it an investment in your health as well.) The word companion is derived from a Latin word that means “to break bread” so for goodness sake – and I know this may send you fit and trim folks into a tizzy, but get a few carbs in the house! I really believe it is just as important to balance the kitchen and dining rooms as it is the bedroom to get commitment ch’i, because I’ve seen great romantic feng shuied bedrooms, but without the kitchen and dining room in order, the “long-lasting” part of the wish list just never gets fulfilled.
I’d also look at the closets and drawers in these houses for physical clutter. Sometimes people have perfect looking public rooms, but their “insides” (AKA thoughts, beliefs, fears, guilt, sadness, hurt, etc.) are a mess. If this is also the case, then I would suggest clearing the clutter in these interior spaces and possibly getting a life coach or therapist (check out my Feng Shui Your Mindset Coaching Series if you need it.)
Finally, I would suggest working on the skills and knowledge gua (front, left-hand part of your bedroom or home once you enter the door) with any enhancements you feel are appropriate, especially adding earth element to both the skills and knowledge gua and anywhere else in the house to ground, stabilize, and help support a strong foundation. Now, just as this type of person feels uncomfortable in shopping for and bringing home food, another suggestion I usually make with clients is when shopping for accessories, furniture, or anything for the house is to buy things that they would not normally choose. My theory is this: if you keep up the same shopping patterns with the stuff you bring home, you keep up the same life situation patterns. And with the above looking-for-commitment client, I suggest choosing earth or fire over metal. Buy items that you would have never even taken the time to look at in the store before. It takes discipline, but it can be done (enlist a friend to help if you don’t think you can at first!)